I’ve used a hotel minibar exactly once, room service never; barred by overdeveloped Puritan instinct for self-denial. But one time in Amsterdam, I was tired, it was late, and I opened the treasure-chest door of the tiny fridge. It glowed. I didn’t know that by then, the events I set in motion that made the outcome inevitable. The glassy emerald sheen of a lukewarm Heineken turned me into a goblin; I stared, I snatched, I activated a sensor, and that’s how I paid several euro too many for my first (and only) minibar beer.

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